Can I have the departure time please?

Last week I had to make an unexpected trip to India. The usual hubbubs, rendezvous', lunches and dinners were all cramped into a single week making my journey back to mundane bliss an even more alluring one.

I was flying in an 'Emirates Air' flight. HYD->DUBAI->JFK. The scheduled departure time, according to the itinerary I got from the agent in the US, was at 4:20 AM. Since the airport had shifted to Shamshabad I was deprived of the luxury of a 10 minute ride to the airport.

That the travel time now is 45 minutes if you leave at midnight and an uncomfortable 2 hours[groan] during the day means that you need to do that extra bit of planning to reach the airport without killing a couple of people on the way. That the cab drivers charge a ridiculous 1500 rupees is worth another post (Loyalists may argue that they have the 100 Rupee AC Coach and I'm not denying that).

Anyways, I'm sure most of you have read about the airport, it's location, it's facilities and all the other superlative adjectives associated with it. If all those are facts or fictitious is not the subject of this post. What I want to share is a frustration, yet hilarious (one of those incidents where in hindsight you shake your head and give a smirk) experience.

As I said my flight was at 4:20 AM and there was some folks till 11:30 PM [rolling eyes] getting drunk at my place [rapidly rolling eyes]. I had hit the bed long before that and woke up just about then. The pseudo-American attitude kind of kicks in [ya rite!!]and I think it's a good idea[me and my damn ideas] to give a call to the airport to confirm the departure time[groan]. I mean, since it's like an hour's drive and I needed to be there 3 hours earlier and that the same flight that comes from Dubai flies back I thought I should just call them and confirm the time[groan groan]. I open the telephone directory and get the airport number.

First call. Ring ring...Ring ring...
me: Hi, I have to catch EK525 leaving to Dubai from Hyderabad. Could you confirm the flight time please?
customer service: I need you to give me your cell phone number so that I can SMS you emirates' phone number.
me: [surprised expression...didn't expect the response...pull myself together and give my dad's mobile number]

I get the SMS message in 5 minutes. [raised eyebrows...a li'l impressed too... 5 minutes isn't too bad]

Second call. Ring ring...Ring ring...
me: Hi, I have to catch a flight...blah blah blah. Could you confirm the departure time please?
customer service: It should be on time I think. It may be 10-20 minutes late maximum.
me: [interesting answer...hand rubbing the chin] Since it's an Emirates flight couldn't you look it up and give me a current status.
customer service: Sir, you've actually called the GMR help line and we wouldn't have the exact information. You need to call Emirates for that.
me: [completely nonplussed...didn't the previous dude sms me an emirates number]Oh OK. I thought I had called Emirates. Could you direct the call to them please.
customer service: I need your cell phone number so that I can SMS you their number.
me: [groan] here it is...

GMR is a huge MNC which undertook the project for the hyd airport. Another 5 mins and then I get another SMS. Thankfully it's a different number and with my hopes raised I give them a call. It's been around 15 mins since my first call. One-fourth the distance if i had started to the airport[dumbo, what in the world made you call them].

Third call. Ring ring...Ring ring...
me: Hi...blah blah blah...time please?
customer service: [blah blah...same crap again] u've reached GMR..need to send SMS...
me: [really pissed]...and I was like... this is a friggin' joke...all i need is a departure time and a flight schedule. I need to be there 3 hours before the scheduled time and couldn't you give it to me coz i need to friggin' travel a couple of hours to reach the damn airport. Give me the time right now or else give me Emirate's number.
customer service: I cannot give you that number, sir.
me:[real pissed... eyes popping and ears fuming]... this isn't some goddamn CIA/FBI number. this is GMR's help line? your useless and no frigging help to me.[it's like around 30 mins since the first call]
customer service: Sorry Sir, I cannot give you the number.
me: [At this point I forced my anger to subside coz I decided to leave anyways and play along till my folks were ready. I guess subconsciously, my alter ego was stubborn enough not to let go]This is utterly ridiculous. Give the phone to your floor manager and I'll see to that he gives me the number. [I use a couple big shot names that my Dad was scribbling down on a piece of paper next to me]
customer service: [slightly flustered i guess] please give me 10 mins sir I'll give you call in a couple of minutes with the scheduled departure time.

After another 5 mins (some 45 minutes after my first call) some dame gives me a call and lets me know that the departure time is as per schedule at 4:20 AM. I give her a piece of my mind and tell her that the so called 'help line' is doing a pathetic and miserable job. Vent out all the frustrations over the past week and beyond.

All in all, since I had enough time and I was getting ready as I was on the phone and since my folks were getting dressed and all that it was not a complete waste of time. If anything, it was good a 45 minutes which completely made me forget that I had to go back to the US and all that crib made me peppy and upbeat again.

Anyways, the whole point is that for you weak hearted and high blood pressure folks, if you need to catch a certain flight just assume that it is on time and start to the airport. After that, jo bhi hoga dekha jaayega.